In Thanksgiving

I originally posted the following on July 13, one month after Tim died. I decided that I couldn't right anything more appropriate for Thanksgiving.

One of the things that Tim and I talked about oftern during his illness was how grateful we were for all the things that had gone right in our lives. We were grateful that Tim's employer, Northwestern University, had such good health benefits and a sick leave policy that allowed Tim to continue receiving his full paycheck throughout each occurrence of his cancer. We were grateful that we had chosen a lifestyle that allowed me to stay at home to care for Tim during his illness and care for our kids when he was well. We were extremely grateful that my mother was able and willing to come live with us each time Tim fell ill, often on no notice. Most of all, we were very grateful that our children were and continue to be healthy, smart, caring individuals.

Please take a minute today to count your blessings. If you are in good health, you are lucky. If you have a job and a place to live and food on your table, you are lucky. If you have people that care about you, you are indeed lucky. If you have even one of those things, you are lucky.

Tim's illness and death were terribly unlucky for him and for us. But even through all the bad times, I know how luck I am - I still have all those things. I am particularly blessed to have so many people that care for me and my boys and have been willing to show that care in so many ways. More than anything else, I am lucky to have my boys, of whom I have immensely proud. I hope that they will know how lucky they are to have Tim for a father.

Are You Done With Your Christmas Shopping?

I haven't even started Christmas shopping yet. My boys, however, have already purchased and wrapped my presents. How's that for precocious children? I wish I could take the credit. Our good friends Jen and Julian called today and offered to take the boys out shopping. Actually, they texted Theo and asked if he and his brother wanted to go out. After shopping, Theo went to see New Moon, but Brendan went to the Koh's and did the present wrapping. Apparently, Brendan has decided he really likes present wrapping. I offered to let him wrap all of Theo's presents. I'm sure he'd wrap his own, if I let him. Thanks, Jen and Julian, for helping my boys today.

What to Say Instead of "How Are You"

Hello.

It's good to see you.

What have you been doing lately?

What are the kids involved in these days?



Anything but "How are you?" Then I don't have to decided whether to lie to you and tell you I'm fine or tell you the truth.


I'm lonely.

I'm sad.

I'm scared.

I'm tired.

The Jar That Never Goes Empty

Today was widow day at church. The first reading today was the story of Elijiah and the Widow at Zarepath. Elijiah asks a widow for something to eat. She tells him that she has only a handful of flour in her jar and a little oil in her jug. Elijiah tells her to make him something anyway and then make something for herself and her son. He tells her that God has promised that her jar will not go empty or her jug run dry. The gospel was the story of the widow who gave her last two coins to the temple. Jesus tells his disciples that the widow gave more than many rich people who gave a lot of money.

Fr. Bob gave a wonderful homily, which I won't try to paraphrase here. I will mention one point. He suggested that these two readings were more about God challenging us to give of ourselves to those in need, which is a lot harder than giving money.

I was very moved by his homily. I continue to be blessed by the gifts of the many friends and family who reach out to me and the boys. I repeat for you my prayer from mass today:

In grateful thanksgiving for all of you who have made sure that my jar has never gone empty nor my jun run dry.