Every camp at the park district has family night where the kids get to show off what they've been doing. Brendan has been attending Circus Camp and tonight was family night. So Theo and I (and Uncle Michael, Aunt Christina, Erin and Josh) went to the Rock Star Circus. Brendan did globe walking, clowning and cloud swing (a kind of silk trapeze). The picture (courtesy of Denyse) is Brendan in the cloud swing.
It is not the first thing we have done without Tim, but one of the first. It is sad to think of all the things that Tim will miss now that he is no longer a part of our lives. I know that he wanted to be around for all the future circuses and soccer games and so on. We wanted him to be here, too. I have mentioned to the boys on more than one occasion throughout Tim's illness that sometimes there is no why, there just is. Tim's death just is. What is important for us now is not what happened, but what we do with it. So we go to the fireworks and the circus without Tim, because those things are still a part of our life, even if Tim can't be here to share them.
Circus camp has been great for Brendan. He has had a lot of fun in a safe environment where people are looking out for him. It's given him an escape from his sadness and a routine for his days. Brendan got to join the circus without having to run away to do so - how lucky is that?
Jennifer (and boys) - Thanks for continuing to blog. There are many people thinking of you and the boys who want to know how you're doing even when its rocky and bumpy along the way.
ReplyDeleteI have found in my life that the converse is also true: even if there is a "why", there's still an "is". You still have to keep moving forward and deal with the "is" even *if* you know the "why".
Often times the why has nothing to do with you personally and you're only along for a ride you didn't ask to take, didn't want to be on in the first place.
I have a friend who thought that if she knew the "why" all the pieces of her life would fall together and be okay. She knows now that's not the case.
The "why" helps us as adults put some logical sense or order to the things that happen( or happened) to us. The "is" makes up the rest of our daily lives: the keeping calm and the carrying on. Its a great motto. --Kim
All the kids did such a great job at the circus performance! It was wonderful to see pure joy on all their faces. Okay, well almost all their faces. That one boy didn't look so happy when he got down from spinning on the rope...
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo...
Thanks for continuing the blog.
Keep calm and carry on
Amy Dunn
What a fun camp! And Brendan appears to have the "hang" of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for continuing to blog. There are definitely many people think about you! I think Sam said that Brendan is in his circus camp this session. Is he in 2nd session?
ReplyDeleteI really do like your motto of keeping calm and carrying on as well as separating the "why" from the "is." Sometimes that can be so hard--but it's so healthy.